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Angel No More

by Rachel Efron

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1.
You loved the girl I was for you Since we're trying out the truth I'll say I loved her, too All fear and sadness steeled away And she heard you call her angel almost every day And still she's the only one who can comfort you As I'm shattering your world For the first time I put myself ahead of you and For my next crime I tell them what you liked to do And though you stick me to the climb It's you who knocked me down Now I'm falling falling all the way home I'm your angel no more Those books of how they injured you Though I chose one every night for each you gave me two Those vile shows you made me see Well now you're trapped in that attentive crowd beholding me And just for old times let's call it consensual The accoutrements of love For the first time I put myself ahead of you and For my next crime I tell them what you liked to do And though you stick me to the climb It's you who knocked me down Now I'm falling falling all the way home She shot it so it seemed alright Disgusting but in better light A profile view of who you'd like to be But let us say her soul chose birth Divinity gets sick on earth Now every breath she takes is one from me For the first time I put myself ahead of you and For my next crime I tell them what you liked to do Now all the bells of heaven chime It's you who knocked me down Now I'm falling falling all the way home I'm your angel no more I'm your angel no more I'm your angel I'm your angel no more I'm your angel I'm your angel no more
2.
Can't believe that I am sitting here Embers of my eminent career burning Dropped my pennies in the wishing well Spent more than I'd ever care to tell yearning This is not my name, is not my life, my happy ending It's the worst thing It's a terrible thing to dream To dream All the tricks to life I thought I knew Ends up that no matter what you do you fall Smile each time he cares to make a pass Mind and soul are lips and tits and ass, that's all There's a life that's good, a life that's mine, I'll never know now It's the worst thing It's a terrible thing to dream To dream I've come looking for the safest place to hide from what I fear There's no love to fill this vacancy inside And yet I'm home Here to stay This is not my name, is not my life, my happy ending It's the worst thing It's a terrible thing to dream To dream
3.
I'd have thought I'd be seventeen Enchanted by your charms You'd become a man beside me I'd survive my youth in your arms Time has passed, I was burned to ash Then rose up like that bird Flew an ever growing distance To unlearn the lies that I'd heard So you've missed a lot and Oh guess now I've got just Far too many things to tell you But anyway Love, I think it can wait 'til morning Pull the curtains away and let the summer night come in Love, your kindness is late but warming me again So let's walk through this gallery And force ourselves to see All the portraits of the other girls That I was fashioned to be Next to each in a gaudy frame Imposing and askew Hangs whatever man I'd found to give me What I thought I was due Those the quiet years I Chose to hide those tears and There, I made it all seem alright But tell you what Love, I think it can wait 'til morning Pull the curtains away and let the summer night come in Love, your kindness is late but warming me again Love, I think it can wait 'til morning Pull the curtains away and let the summer night come in Love, your kindness is late but warming me again
4.
Anyway 03:57
Helpless princess Delicate flower, swiftly unfurled Flaunt your weakness Like I have the power to shatter your world It's a hard fight to do right As your favorite villain I see, baby I'm in at zero counted with you Impossibly I'm also your hero, incumbent to do All your biddings and worse things Your crimes and your penance Marking without tears the long years Of your lifetime sentence I could tell myself I need you Starve myself to feed you Find new ways to stay I could chain myself to trying But for all my dying We'd lose each other anyway You know it's so Single intention for every move You strike new low And I'll never mention, but yeah I could prove What went down here on Cape Fear In Southern Amnesia How all my snow drifts in night shifts Weren't quite anesthesia I could tell myself I need you Starve myself to feed you Find new ways to stay I could chain myself to trying But for all my dying We'd lose each other anyway This time I'm just gonna say no Find out what comes after I just let go Your bouquet of lilies and lies Sublime, picture me in Bourdieu Sky above me star streaked like a Van Gough And the future back in my eyes I could tell myself I need you Starve myself to feed you Find new ways to stay I could chain myself to trying But for all my dying We'd lose each other anyway I could tell myself I need you Starve myself to feed you Find new ways to stay I could chain myself to trying But for all my dying We'd lose each other anyway We'd lose each other anyway We'd lose each other anyway

credits

released November 27, 2015

Produced by Jon Evans. Songs, vocals, and piano by Rachel Efron. Bass and guitars by Jon Evans. Drums and percussion by Matthias Bossi. Trumpet on track 4 by Erik Jekabson. Trombone on track 4 by Jeff Cressman. Vocal production on tracks 1 and 4 by Julie Wolf. Recorded at Brick Hill Studios, Orleans, MA, and Fantasy Studios, Berkeley, CA. Mixed by Adam Munoz at Fantasy Studios, Berkeley, CA. Mastered by Ken Lee at Ken Lee Mastering, Oakland, CA. Graphic Design by Joe Koenig at Konig Media. Photo by Dave Getzschman. Lettering by Jillian Schiavi.

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Rachel Efron Oakland, California

Oakland-based singer/songwriter Rachel Efron writes edgy but deeply felt piano driven alt-pop, nuanced by a forever love for improvised jazz and impressionistic classical music. She takes her influence from The Beatles and Tom Waits, Ben Folds and Feist, alongside the melodic sensibilities of Grieg and Chopin, and the chord voicings of Bill Evans and Brad Mehldau. ... more

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