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Put Out The Stars

by Rachel Efron

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1.
Worst Crime 04:24
Travel the night Set for the landing I won the fight But you’re the one standing I never knew of the love you gave me before I could be true to you if you had any more for me Wind from the bay Rustles the mountain Mute when you say Scream when you listen I never knew of the love you gave me before I could be true to you if you had any more for me So it begins Walk me the distance of your worst crime Kicking the leaves I could stay happy in the meantime So it will end Lead me to someplace I could not fathom I would be Without your love or my own Never so lonely alone Retire the part Savagery pending Loss was our start My life is our ending I never knew of the love you gave me before I could be true to you if you had any more for me I would pull through for you if you had any more for me
2.
Closing Day 04:10
Day becomes the evening Sea becomes the sand I become this letter in your hand Sent without a message Signed a different name Everything recedes to where it came I could hold my breath another day I could hold the space to love you anyway Not ever of you, no longer with you Still Wait another moment Wait another year Hide your tired mind from what you hear You, the wisest teacher You, the truest friend Further from your god than from our end I could hold my breath another day I could hold the space to love you anyway Fix your broken heart with balls of clay Not ever of you, no longer with you Still here, now Yours until the closing day
3.
Enough 04:50
Who would I have had to be For you to find your love for me What would I have had to say For you to make your way And what would I have had to do To constitute enough for you To give my life back to me Back to me Is God above or all around Or with me on this hardened ground Did He intend to find in me A light I didn’t see Or did He mean to take away The promise that I felt that day To give my life back to me Back to me Can you see her through the window laughing Shattered glass of what you almost had Cool movie screen Depicts what you’ve seen like it’s romantic The drama of your love The summer sun upon me now Like all has been revealed somehow The flowers grow, bloom, and bend To life that didn’t end And I’m alone with what I lost No currency to pay the cost To give my life back to me What would I have had to do To constitute enough for you To give my life back to me
4.
I know that I must offer myself absolutely So that which I love can open its blossoms to me I’m here and I’m yours Peaceful surrender Forever your mourning dove In the time before we start to be in love I’ve traveled so far searching a space to be lonely Ravished at last, I’m breathing you in like a drug Breathless desire Breathless ambivalence Fitting me like a glove In the time before we start to be in love I hear you like whispering leaves as the Fall settles in I want you like shimmering starlight collapsed to begin I’d hold you if ever you’d suffer my arms to be right I’ll leave you to romance my absence instead tonight I’m sorry I can’t help but imagine the satin Permission to kiss, the clarion ringing of bells I’ll wed my desire Lay with it under a darkening sky above In the time before we start to be in love Take your time with me, my love I can wait to be in love
5.
Stop the clocks and turn off the fountain Hold my illusion close to the ground Split the rock that dreamed of this mountain Sing my seclusion, stifle my sound I could have held you I would have tried to Summoned my strength again Though your past carved circles on me You never fought it, Fixed, or forgot it Gave me the night and then Your love had flown Left me alone in the dark Name the pain that beckoned me to you Gripped at my reason, sails in the wind Hard as rain and cursed to undo you Loveliest season I’d love to rescind I took the first kiss I bent to bear this Brandished my heart again While you drained your soul of longing Dead on the side Hell that you dared hide Gave me the night and then You put out the stars
6.
Marigold 04:23
I learned the cadence of your laughter I touched your arm when you cried I mapped the contour of your body Set sail in the ebb of our tide Peacefully Just as you’re telling me forever I have every reason to know But love like it doesn’t end Except for the day that you let me go Day tells the story of the evening In patterns of light on the bed Pale greens and purples of the covers Awash in the words that we said Haltingly Here in the shadows of your failing The woman I’ve suffered to be Will die as you walk away But harken my innocence back to me Softly, slowly My marigold blooms just outside of these walls Just as you’re telling me forever I have every reason to know But love like it doesn’t end Except for the day that you let me go I’ll love you like it doesn’t end Except for the day that you let me go
7.
You are so peaceful in the morning Light as a day without its evening Look at me, I am the single thing to see This is the beautiful day of your life I am as constant as the ocean Harbor the currents of my passion Brave and true, and now I give it all to you This is the beautiful day of your life Tell me friend, will you make it in the end It is so lonely here without you And tell me true what our time has meant to you Another tragedy about you And me no longer happy Will I be easier to leave No I’m not ashamed of what I carry I don’t regret and I’m not sorry Gave my best and while you scavenge for the rest This is the beautiful day of your life Look at me, I am the single thing to see This is the beautiful day of your life
8.
Too Soon 03:58
Like a bud in the springtime A dream of pink and blue A heart unwitnessed A poem unfinished By me much less by you I’m as still as the daybreak As pallid as the moon I thought you would never touch my skin Then I let you in too soon Sing the ways that you kept me Thought you yourself were gone: Your halting weakness, The skill of your fist, The love you’d take ’til dawn, The convulse of a rhythm Dissevered of its tune, Your one contribution conceived in sin When I let you in too soon What could I give to you When failing’s the one thing you’re willing to do Take your hit; break your fall Forget what I saved ’til I find that you’ve squandered it all I could not have imagined All that I’d be to you: The death of music, Broken tables A promise you withdrew, The delight of a sunrise — Oppressive heat by noon, The love of your life that you lost to win Cause I let you in too soon I let you in too soon
9.
Lost Year 02:59
In my lost year I kept my options open With a held fear A grief without the pain It takes a life to stay Or an hour to sail away from you In my lost year I found that I had nothing left at all In my lost mind the darkness was my shelter I could gaze blind at what should make me go But while it shielded me There was so much more to be and feel In my lost mind I found that I had nothing left at all Say that you know and tell me you see All that I’ve been and what I can be Find us a way, no matter the cost Love me today thought life is an endless moment lost In my lost life forgot to say I loved you With a dull knife I cut against our tie And though I longed for you There was nothing I could do to change In my lost life I found that I had nothing left at all It takes a life to stay Or an hour to sail away from you In my lost year I found that I had nothing left at all
10.
Slow Dance 04:46
Another cup, another preface to a letter Our time is up and still I wish I knew you better The wind inside my curtain Like words I’ll never hear you say to me Love consume me Move to me like a slow dance Hope submit me To anything you can Life presume me Beautiful as my romance Don’t permit me to settle for my death again I search the floor, I search the length of what I’m choosing My stones in store, my deepest love in what I’m losing I read you like a story I hoped you would come true for me someday Love consume me Move to me like a slow dance Hope submit me To anything you can Life presume me Beautiful as my romance Don’t permit me to settle for my death again You are a motherless child You are a brotherless child You are a fatherless child Going home

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released April 1, 2012

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Rachel Efron Oakland, California

Oakland-based singer/songwriter Rachel Efron writes edgy but deeply felt piano driven alt-pop, nuanced by a forever love for improvised jazz and impressionistic classical music. She takes her influence from The Beatles and Tom Waits, Ben Folds and Feist, alongside the melodic sensibilities of Grieg and Chopin, and the chord voicings of Bill Evans and Brad Mehldau. ... more

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